I can’t imagine a better place to start with blogging than with a blog about my mom. Let’s face it: I have more history with her than with any other human being.

I didn’t start to get along with my mom until I was in my mid-40’s – over 10 years ago. It’s a long story. Suffice it to say that I eventually called a detente and we started at that point.

I had a dream one time, in which I ‘saw’ just how enmeshed my mom is in my life. I had NO idea of this entanglement till I saw it in that dream. It was then then I began to realize that I have no choice in the matter: I must deal with issues between us or suffer the consequences – feeling of guilt and remorse.

I didn’t start out hating my mom. My earliest memories are of me, thinking my mom was wonderful. But then she did something that really upset me, and I didn’t forgive her for almost 40 years.

No, that is not accurate. It wasn’t that I did not forgive her; it was that I didn’t know what to do with her in my life. I’ve heard it said that we hit a target if we concentrate on it. So I had a dilemma: I did not want to become like my mom, but since I concentrated on her so much (in my hatred of her) I found myself emulating her almost against my will. In short: I was very confused!

It’s been said that hate is not the opposite of love, but, rather, indifference is the opposite of love. I have always loved mom – I have never come close to being indifferent to her.

I felt betrayed by my mom; that was the gist of the problem I had with her. The other feeling that I experienced in re to mom was . . . . . frustration. I felt loathe to be around her, but I missed her horribly when I was on the ‘outs’ with her. The whole thing remained an enigma to me . . ..

Then one day I realized that I did NOT have to make the same mistakes mom did, and that started me on the road toward a relationship with her.

I once asked a friend if she was going to make the same mistakes her parents did, and she replied, ‘No! I’m going to make my own mistakes!’ How true that is when it comes to me and my mom: In trying to avoid her mistakes, I made my own!

I quit!


Mom & I

Mom & I


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